The Science of Respect and Reputation

Respect! Is there any alive who does not secretly want it? Is there any who does not feel the need to be sought after by those seeking solace and remit in an otherwise sickening world?
We all have felt the need however minute to be respected and recognized by our family, by our peers, by our co-workers, by our parents and by our children if any had; it is on account of this notion that we cement a place for ourselves in our world. A man not respected by any is a man alone. How is it then that we come to gain respect, do we force it on the majority or do we let our actions, beliefs and propaganda speak for us.
The central and most powerful source for respect comes from reputation; it is the cornerstone of power and without it, there is really nothing to look up to in anyone. But keeping and holding a reputation intact throughout a person’s life might just be a little bit more difficult than imagined. The reason for this is because, letting people down is a natural part of human existence – it happens without much work going into it, and once it does, that person becomes vulnerable. Once a hole is opened up in someone’s reputation, public opinion does the rest, and when it involves family, peers or co-workers; respect for such a person is greatly reduced.
One quick example as to what reputation does for whoever hones it involves the lion - always and forever known as the king of the wild not because of its size. It is neither the biggest, strongest nor fastest of wild animals, but still it is the most feared. A hungry lion will eat, and when it does decide to this, it cares very little for how big or how fast its prey might be; it just knows it has to eat. This is what makes it the fiercest of them.
The people around us, even our closest friends and family, will to some extent remain mysterious and unfathomable. Their characters have secret recesses that they never reveal. Trying to understand people is quite disturbing if thought about long enough, and this makes it really impossible to judge them. So we just prefer to ignore this fact by just calling people like we see them, and judging by appearances what is most visible to the eyes – clothes, words, actions, gestures. One false slip or awkward change in appearance can prove disastrous, this is the reason for the supreme importance of making and maintaining a reputation that is of our own creation.

Like Tyrion Lannister(the dwarf) says in the HBO series, Game of Thrones, “Never forget who you are. Accept it, embrace it and make it yours. Wear it loud and proud like armor, and it can never be used against you. Remember never to forget it, because the world sure as hell won’t”.

Having a reputation, whether good or bad really, protects a person in the dangerous game of appearances – a game virtually played by everyone who has a brain to go with a head. I have seen many a time where people say stuff like, ‘I am always myself, and I never act what I’m not’. Yes, that’s true to an extent but when we consider a fact that no human is really perfect, how does that then translate into always being you. Since we all have an element of imperfection in us, do we let this imperfection show just because we want to be ourselves?

For, as Cisero says, even those who argue against fame still want the books they write against it to bear their name in the title and hope to become famous for despising it. Everything is subject to barter: we will let our friends have our goods and our lives if need be; but a case of sharing our fame and making someone else the gift of our reputation is hardly to be found. MONTAIGNE, 1533–1592

Being in charge and total awareness of ones’ own reputation inadvertently invokes some form of respect for the holder. Hold on to it, make it really simple and base it on one sterling quality. This single quality – say efficiency, honesty, generosity, selflessness – becomes a kind of calling card for you. Since we must live in society and must depend on the opinions of others to a certain extent, we gain much by holding a reputation and in turn earn the respect we so desire. If you are the kind that does not care what others think of you, you might just gain a reputation for being insolent and arrogant - which in itself can be both good and bad.