Infectious behaviors and attitudes abound all around us - sometimes they make a lasting impact on us, and sometimes they just infect us temporarily - nevertheless, it is a wise thing to avoid people who are bitter, unhappy, vindictive and sour. Emotional states are as infectious as diseases, they can sap and draw out many a good emotion and replace them with unhealthy feelings of resentment. I have heard someone say 'A man can die from the misery of another' - I do not know how true that may be but i can say for certain that the misery of one may often time rub off on another.
Many things are said to be infectious. Sleeping can be infectious, and yawning as well. In large-scale strategy, when the enemy is agitated and shows an inclination to rush, do not mind in the least. Make a show of complete calmness, and the enemy will be taken by this and will become relaxed. You infect their spirit. You can infect them with a carefree drunk-like spirit, with boredom or even weakness. (A BOOK OF FIVE RINGS, MIYAMOTO MUSASHI, SEVENTEENTH CENTURY)
There are so many around us who have been brought down by circumstances beyond their control, they deserve all the help and sympathy we can give them. But make no mistake, there are those who are not born to misfortune or unhappiness, but have drawn it upon themselves by their destructive actions and unsettling effect on others - it would be a great thing if we could help them, change their patterns or possibly even raise them up - but this may just be our undoing, we might just get caught up in the whirlwind of negativity circling above them. The reason for this is, humans are very susceptible to the moods, emotions, and thinking patterns of those with whom we spend our time.
Chronic dissatisfaction is one of the most insidious infections we come across. It is the building block by which all other negative emotions draw fuel. Bitterness, unhappiness, excessive thinking, sourness and vindictiveness are all signs of dissatisfaction. On the other hand, contentment is the one and only vaccination against dissatisfaction - contentment with ourselves, our community and generally our lives can go a long way to reducing, even eliminating, the infectious nature of discontent.
There will always be those who suffer from unhappiness and such, I do not say to run the other way whenever we meet them - we must however be careful when trying to better their situation - the first step being understanding the reason for their unhappiness, then working your way up from there. There is no need trying to change one whose heart and soul is discontent. Being able to recognize people on the effect they have on those around them is a sure way to know who is happy and who is not. Associating with those who draw happiness to themselves by their good cheer, natural buoyancy, and intelligence is not just a preference - it is a necessity.
If by nature you are miserly, or possibly just bitter through no fault of yours, it is necessary to associate with generous and lively souls. Doing this will draw their emotions to you, it opens up everything that is tight and restricted in you.
A gloomy individual must gravitate towards the cheerful.
An isolated individual must befriend the gregarious.
Never associate with those who share your defects - that just reinforces everything that holds you back from getting far in life. It is certain that we always come across those who do not appreciate our work, those who will not just understand our perspective - these people will try to bring you down by bad-mouthing you, some by indirectly poking hurtful jabs at you - after knowing all this, never give in to subtle or harsh critical opinions when you know your worth and yourself.
A famous Italian Renaissance polymath wrote this story:
THE NUT AND THE CAMPANILE
A nut found itself carried by a crow to the top of a tall campanile, and by falling into a crevice succeeded in escaping its dread fate. It then besought the wall to shelter it, by appealing to it by the grace of God, and praising its height, and the beauty and noble tone of its bells. "Alas," it went on, "as I have not been able to drop beneath the green branches of my old father and to lie in the fallow earth covered by his fallen leaves, do you, at least, not abandon me. When I found myself in the beak of the cruel crow, I made a vow that if I escaped, I would end my life in a little hole."
At these words, the wall, moved with compassion, was content to shelter the nut in the spot where it had fallen. Within a short time, the nut burst open: Its roots reached in between the crevices of the stones and began to push them apart; its shoots pressed up towards the sky. They soon rose above the building, and as the twisted roots grew thicker they began to thrust the walls apart and force the ancient stones from their old places. Then the wall, too late and in vain, bewailed the cause of its destruction, and in short time it fell to ruin. (LEONARDO DA VINCI, 1452-1519)
Such is the power of infection.
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