Monday, June 24, 2013

Society, Belief And Equality (2): Ostentation

Have you ever achieved a set goal and felt the need to let everyone else know about it, about how you worked so hard at it? Yes, I'm sure you have at least at one time or the other. Humans always want to talk non-stop about their good deeds, it is almost impossible to keep a tight lid on ones' own accomplishments; why? because it feels good to hear ourselves talk about them.
However, people naturally do not want to see or listen to others brag about what they did and did-not, it usually comes off as blowing trumpets. Sounding the alarm when a good thing or deed is done not only feels good to the bearer, it also incites disgust from most hearers. This is really no fault of theirs (hearers) because they themselves might have worked hard, sometimes even harder than the bearer; so hearing others rant on and on about how good they did stirs up some form of resentment. It is never prudent to prattle on about yourself or call too much attention to your actions. The more we talk about our deeds, the more suspicion we invoke and God help us if the wrong person with some built-up resentment decides to put the braggadocio in us to rest.
We also make the mistake of thinking that we are safe to speak of our achievements amongst our close friends and family, this is also a mistake. At a time during our developmental stage in life, the first people we measure our success by are usually those closest to us; they are the ones we see almost on a daily basis. Even among siblings, there exists a little and subtle form of competition.
The only person that we could completely trust to listen to our own achievement and deed is ourselves. This will not only keep us happy, it will also give us a sense of fulfillment. Talking less about yourself and more about the other person is always a preference in dealing with people. If you are to let your deeds become a topic of discussion, it should be at the behest of another; even at that, it must remain modest.

I was at a gathering yesterday morning, a gathering of at least three hundred men and women. An introduction was made ushering in a speaker, he was very well dressed - nicely cut tailor-made suit, he also had a confident (kind of swagger) carriage. Dead silence fell on the room as I'm sure everyone was eager to hear his lecture, same as I. After about five or six minutes of getting the crowd relaxed and loosened up by telling half-good jokes, Mr. speaker man spent the next thirty minutes talking about all that he owned, things he had acquired within the past two years speaking on the topic he was about to share with us.
It was a good lecture in the end, but the emotions he had stirred up at the beginning of his lecture made almost every other person in the room complacent when it came time to contributing financially in highlighting his invitation; kind of as a form of appreciation somewhat. By speaking too much of himself, unknowingly to him, he had caused people to think he was being manipulative. He might have waited till the end of the lecture, at least by what time we would have drawn up our own conclusions on his ability to communicate effectively.

Avoiding ostentation wherever we are is really not that difficult, plus it does more good than harm.

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