Heart-break, disappointment, broken relationships, underachieved goals, are all examples of situations that evoke some amount of pain. A lot of people try to make believers of themselves by continuously affirming statements like, 'I do not care what people think of me', 'I am a tough person', 'I don't let things get to me easily', 'I can do it myself', etc. These are just few of many phrases we usually say to make ourselves feel better, when in reality, we might be hurting.
Maybe I made her feel too special or maybe I got boring, maybe she thought herself too beautiful to be in a committed relationship - I still don't know - that call though, I still know all about it, it definitely did the damage it was meant for. Anita had broken up with me and girl did not seem tense about it at all, in fact, it was more like a casual greeting exchanged between neighbours during the wee hours of the morning - so straight forward it was, no plea, no reason, and definitely no hormone-induced exchange. I was young and that was hurtful. I have since recovered.
'Terror' was the name given to a cross-bred German-shepherd puppy of ours. He grew quite big for his age, at six months he could stand on his hind legs and be face to face with me standing at five foot-ten - very bubbly and quite fun to be around, he ate almost every other left-over we had to offer - the canine had no restraint whatsoever when it came to food, this just made him all the more delightful to have around. I had just returned home during a mid-semester break, tired and hungry I made for my bed. Maybe because it was assumed I already knew, no one told me Terror had died - it wasn't until the next morning I realized the compound was unusually quiet. "Well of course," I thought to myself, there was no sound of growling or barking. "Where is that fat dog," I asked. "Oh I thought you knew, he died two weeks ago." It was anger I felt, probably because I blamed the dog keeper for not paying close attention to Terror's health.
Writing my university entrance exam a second time was as tense as it could possibly be, I failed it the first time so it had to be better this time around. On completing the papers within the designated time, I remember being really excited at the outcome - it went smoothly and I wrote cleverly, in fact, it seemed quite easy to me. So you can imagine my shock when two weeks later at a cyber cafe, I saw a score of 193 as against the minimum requirement of 200. I had fell short a second time and I was heart-broken - so much that I told myself I would never attend a university, it was that bad. I was so disappointed and lost focus, the pain was too much. Of course I lived through it, got into the university and studied the course I always wanted to.
First time i saw my mom cry, I don't even think I have seen her shed a tear since then - the woman's a robot. I was a kid actually, an uncle of hers' came visiting just like every other day he did; only this time, he brought devastating news of the passing of a family friend of hers'. It was not a good sight, but I understood pain and its psychological effect on us. It made my otherwise strong and fierce mom break-down.
No one is immune to it, it strikes us and we feel the weight of it. It comes in many forms and my illustrations above are mere representations on emotional responses in different situations. Pain never killed anyone, and I don't suppose it ever will so there's really no point letting others dictate our emotional state.
Learning to embrace circumstances is a proven method to overcoming the negative effect such may pose to incite in us. By accepting what we have little or no control over, we activate a fail-safe in us that instinctively provides a solution dependent upon how each individual is built.
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